Conflict Resolution Guide

Resolve conflicts constructively while preserving relationships.

Usage

1. Identify the conflict type: task (what to do), process (how to do it), or relationship (personal friction)
2. Separate positions (what people say they want) from interests (why they want it)
3. Use structured conversation frameworks to discuss the issue
4. Focus on observable behaviors and specific impacts, not personality judgments
5. Agree on concrete next steps with follow-up checkpoints

Examples

• Team disagreement on approach: Use the "Disagree and Commit" framework: everyone presents their case with data. Facilitate a structured discussion (5 min per perspective). Decision maker chooses. Everyone commits fully to the decision regardless of their position. Revisit only if new data emerges
• Performance feedback conflict: Use SBI model: Situation ("In yesterday's client meeting"), Behavior ("you interrupted the client three times"), Impact ("the client seemed frustrated and cut the meeting short"). Then ask: "What was your perspective?" Listen fully before problem-solving
• Resource allocation dispute: Map each party's underlying interests (not positions). Often both sides want the same thing (project success) but disagree on method. Find options that satisfy core interests of both parties. If truly zero-sum, use transparent criteria decided in advance

Guidelines

• Address conflicts early — they compound exponentially when ignored. A 5-minute conversation today prevents a 2-hour mediation next month
• Use "I" statements: "I felt frustrated when the deadline changed" not "You always change deadlines"
• Never resolve conflict over email or chat — tone is lost and misinterpretation is guaranteed. Voice or face-to-face only
• Validate the other person's perspective before presenting yours: "I understand you're concerned about X because Y"
• Focus on the problem, not the person. "The process is causing delays" not "You are causing delays"
• If emotions are high, take a 24-hour cooling period before the conversation — but commit to a specific time to return to it